Extreme Makeover: Jackal Editon
by Rosie The Riveter
Summary: Maxie decides Spinelli could use a makeover. Will it be a turning point? 8/18/08 - I ADDED A SECOND CHAPTER - MUCH FUNNY JASPIN AND SONNY
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Spinelli!." Maxie called to him in a singsong voice as she breezed into the living room at Kate's holding a stack of folders and a binder of photographs. "Are you done yet?"

"Done?" He continued to type away on his keyboard as he spoke. "The Junior Fashionista obviously does not understand the complexities of designing an entire network from the ground up. When the Reigning Fashionista returns from her excursion to the European continent, I must have a working system in place. As you well know, Miss Kate Howard is a demanding and - exacting - employer."

"So, you don't have time for lunch?" Maxie held up a bag from Kelly's and the aroma made Spinelli's mouth water - his work ethic momentarily shaken.

"Cheeseburgers?"

Maxie strutted over to the dining room table "Uh huh – and orange soda and chips – your favorite." Spin's eyes lit up at the thought that Maxie had thought about him and knew what his favorites were. Maxie pulled the feast from the paper bag as Spinelli was inexorably drawn from his cyber world.

"The sustenance is much appreciated." He rubbed his hands in anticipation.

"Well, Kate left me in charge. How would it look if I let her network designer pass out from hunger?" She teased "Oh - I got these – see if you like them." She threw a purple bag at him.

"Pringles Select Szechuan Barbecue Rice Chips??" Spinelli eyed them suspiciously but opened them anyway and tried one. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "These are delightful! They remind me of the Chinese food that Sam - formerly known as The Goddess - also formerly known as Everyday Heroes Sam - used to bring home all the time. A taste sensation, Junior Fashionista. The Jackal thanks you."

Maxie grinned, happy that her surprise had been a success. Then she wondered briefly why it mattered to her, but the thought was quickly replaced by Spinelli brushing his hair across his face as he munched. It was exasperating the way he did that all the time. Why didn't he get a haircut or something?

"OK – lunch is served." The two sat eating Mike's cheeseburgers off waxed paper at Kate's fifteen thousand dollar glass-topped table as Spinelli listened to her go on and on about a conference call she had had with Kate and some guy named Michael Kors (_Coors - like the beer?_ he thought) about his spring collection.

He didn't understand anything she said in regard to the fashion, but he couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm and his heart was so glad for her that she was finally happy. He had been afraid that she had been permanently broken after Georgie and Cooper had been killed. Even though she had put on a brave and determined face, he knew that her younger sister's death had changed everything about her outlook on the world.

Selfishly, he had to wonder if that had something to do with the fact that they had become so close. Had the death of Wise and Loyal Georgie been the impetus for his own happiness? If so, how in a fair and just world did that make sense? He only hoped that Georgie herself looked down upon them and had her hand in it. After all, she had been an incurable romantic.

Spinelli brushed his hair across his face absentmindedly while still attempting to decipher the fashion vocabulary of brocade and someone called Jimmy Choo.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Maxie interrupted her monologue and looked at him. She apparently expected him to answer but he had no earthly idea what she was talking about. He thought dejectedly that somehow he had managed to annoy her simply by listening attentively.

"Huh – um, to what are you referring, Fashionista?" He nervously swiped at his too long bangs again.

"That!!" she pointed at him – "right there!! Ooooh! It drives me crazy – do you know you do that about a hundred times a day?"

"Uh, I do?" He was still not completely sure what she was talking about.

"When was the last time you got your hair cut?"

"Um," Spinelli screwed up his face and concentrated. He knew he had gotten a hair cut since the Black and White Ball but he couldn't place the actual date.

"And who cut it for you – Edward Scissorhands?"

"Do you refer to the dark and tragic dramedy by Mr. Tim Burton starring the chameleon-like and creative actor Johnny Depp?"

"You know who Johnny Depp is?" Spinelli was about to confirm that he did indeed know who Johnny Depp was when Maxie interrupted again. "Never mind. Come with me!" She commanded, then stood up and held out her hand.

"Um – I'm sorry? Wh- where are we going??" He didn't know what was happening but took her hand anyway. As if he had a choice. She dragged him along the hallway and into an enormous room. It was decorated in creams and golds and looked like what he imagined Versailles's lavatory looked like.

"This is Kate's in-house salon. She has a stylist come over and do her hair and this other lady to do manis and pedis and stuff. Pretty cool, huh?" Spinelli had no clue what a mani or a pedi was so he just looked blankly at her, petrified. "Sit!" Maxie pointed to a chair in front of a sink. She was going to drown him? He had made her that mad?

"Why - do you want me to sit?" He looked around for an escape, perhaps an Army Ranger-like leap and roll from the window was in order. He had seen it in a movie once and was almost sure he could do it.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Now sit!!" He started to sit "Wait! You should take off your shirt first."

Spinelli almost choked. "What?!" he yelped.

"Take – off – your – shirt. Otherwise you'll get hair all in it."

"What are you planning on doing to me - Merciless - Fashionista??" Spinelli quaked as he eyed the scissors she had taken out of a drawer. His eyes grew large at the thought that he would wind up with a most Un Jackal-like Stone Cold-ish flat top. "I do not require a hair cut today – huh – You see - I was planning on heading down to the Port Charles Galleria on Saturday where there is a very nice septuagenarian who cuts The Jackal's hair and regales him with tales of her grand-progeny. So you see? I don't need you to cut my hair." He begged for his life. He knew that this was a battle of wills and only the strong would survive.

Maxie put a stern look on her face and a hand on her hip. She pointed at him with the sharp tip of the scissors. "Shirt. Sit. Now." All was lost – his only hope now was the fact that his penchant for hats would disguise the damage. Spinelli gulped and reluctantly and uncomfortably stripped his shirt over his head. Sitting down miserably he crossed his arms shyly in front of his bare chest.

Maxie felt a strange sensation at the sight of him taking his shirt off. She frowned and threw him a towel. "Um, here." She spun around and started searching for shampoo and conditioner in a cabinet. She hoped that Spinelli hadn't seen her face turn fuchsia.

Thankfully, when she turned back, Spinelli had covered himself with the towel and though he looked mortified at the thought of her styling his hair, he hadn't bolted yet.

She kicked off her high heels and padded over to the sink running water over her hand until the water turned warm. "Lean back." Spinelli scooched down into the seat and reluctantly leaned his head back into the hair washing basin. He looked up at her like a puppy begging to be given a reprieve. She smiled at him, amused by his trepidation. "You'll be _fine_ - I promise." She pulled the detachable faucet out and wet his hair down, laughing at the way he scrunched his eyes up. "It's not too cold, is it?"

"Uh – no - the temperature is - acceptable." Spinelli was shivering, not at the temperature of the water but rather at the feel of her hands as she ran her fingers through his hair and behind his neck. It felt excruciatingly pleasant and he was glad to have his eyes closed for protection. But when she started shampooing his hair, the sensations that stirred in him were unbearable and he made the mistake of opening them. Her china blue eyes gazed into his own.

Maxie stared down into his eyes - the color an indescribable mix of sage and sea glass. Why had she never noticed that before? She had talked to him every day for months and she never noticed that? And the slight stubble on his chin? The thought of him shaving in the morning was a new and uncomfortably intimate concept to her. She had never even really thought of him as _male_. A male that shaved and showered and smelled like a man should, like soap and rain. And had he always looked like that? Surely, she would have noticed. Had she become so consumed with herself that she didn't even notice him as a man? Then again, this was Spinelli. She imagined what it would be like if she leaned over and kissed him. It would have been simple, just one little kiss, just to see what it would be like. Like scientific research. To see if she was still interested in dating. Shaking some sense into herself, she rinsed and conditioned his hair.

A few minutes later, a dry towel wrapped around his shoulder, he sat unhappily, a captive to her ministrations. Surely, she wouldn't make him look foolish. Maxie combed his wet hair as she chattered happily again about the fashion world. When she wielded the scissors for the first time, a cold horror paralyzed him. Maxie didn't notice and snipped away at the ends of his bangs and he nearly hyperventilated as he saw the shards fall to the ground around him.

"Spinelli – you look like I'm torturing you!" she teased. "Don't worry – I won't make it too short. I know you don't want to have a Jason haircut or anything." She gently brushed some hair off the bridge of his nose. Spinelli tried to relax.

To further torment him, when she had completed her butcher job, she put product in his hair and submitted him to the humiliation of a blow dryer. His hair had never known anything like this ordeal and he didn't know if he would recover. A case of PTSD was building as he sat.

"OK – you're done." Maxie stared at him as she took in the final product. When she had been working on his hair, she didn't really notice how he looked as a whole. She couldn't believe the miracle that had made Spinelli – well – handsome.

Spinelli couldn't take it any longer and he turned to see the destruction in the mirror. What he saw however, was nothing short of astounding. Instead of the dork he saw in the mirror every miserable day, he saw someone who was – well - handsome. It was disturbing to him that she did this for him. Why would she care?

"Um, thank you, Fashionista. It is most - surprising." His tumbling words - always a nervous habit, always so present and bothersome - had left him. He gazed down at her, imagining asking her to dinner, her accepting and the two of them going out on a real date. It was as foolish as all his other film noir fantasies, but this one hurt, because he knew it couldn't happen.

"Yeah – surprising." She returned his look, acutely aware that the space between them had shrunk; and also aware that he was half undressed. Before she knew what she was doing, she had reached up and pulled his head down to hers, when their lips met, an electric shock went through both of them. It was a sweet, tender kiss with hints of the passion that Spinelli had never thought would happen to him.

When their lips parted, Maxie still had her hand gently at the base of his neck and her hand was on his chest. She looked like she was in shock.

_Carpe Diem, Jackal_ he thought "Um – F-Fash - Maxie?" Spinelli stuttered.

"Yeah?" She managed the single syllable.

"Do - do you want to go to dinner with me?"

Maxie smiled tentatively, she knew Spinelli would be the most complicated relationship of her life. She was in no way ready for it. "Yeah. Sure."

Spinelli grinned. For the first time in his life, he – The Jackal - not some Unworthy One - got the girl.


	2. Much Needed Advice

**OK - this is before Spixie Couch sex of course and also before Sonny became a total and complete asshat to Spin and Jason and everyone else. Sonny is also still i charge of the business...**

**Enjoy and review**

**PS:This is much lighter and fluffier than Abandon All Hope is it not? For those of you that like dark fics - AAH is waaaay dark.**

**PPS: I am currently enjoying a cold Orange Soda**

"Stone Cold?" Spinelli poked his head in the door to the coffee house office.

Jason glanced up briefly and then went back to the papers he was looking. "What's up Spinelli?"

"I was hoping for some sage advice from the Mojo Master." He grinned uncontrollably.

"What??" Jason looked annoyed but it was more a reflex than actual annoyance. Spinelli had become a fixture in his life and truth be told, he missed him when he wasn't around.

"Um, sorry. I have a date."

Jason cocked an eyebrow. "A date?"

"I see that the master is surprised. Ok. Understandable."

"With who? Nadine again?"

"Uh, no, that Blonde ship has sailed - possibly in the direction of Prince Cassadine it seems." Jason ignored the information. "Anyway, no – I have a date with the Junior Fashionista."

"Who?"

"Maxie Jones." Spinelli took a deep breath at the thought that in a few hours, he, Damian Spinelli would be picking up Maxie Jones for a date. "We're going to dinner. I asked, she accepted. And Stone Cold – she kissed me."

Now Spinelli had his attention "She kissed you." He stared at Spinelli for a minute. "What happened to your hair?"

"Oh – uh, she cut it. It was surprisingly – pleasant."

"So, what do you want from me? You need to borrow the car?"

"Oh – yes, that would be most appreciated, thank you, but no, I was looking for some advice, you know - on where to take her and, well, how to act."

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because you are Stone Cold, master of all things cool and you know how to seduce women."

"No I don't." He looked quizzically at the younger man he considered his brother. "I'm not really a date kind of guy, Spinelli. Sam and I didn't exactly get together in the usual way and we never really went out much." Jason was about to tell him that he and Liz just holed up in the safe-house but remembered in time that was supposed to be secret. "You should ask Sonny."

"Ask me what?" Sonny Corinthos had opened the door to his office and heard the last part of what Jason was saying. He assumed it was about business.

Spinelli jumped up when the mob boss entered the room. "Um, nothing Mr. Corinthos, Sir. I was just - leaving." He was about to flee the room when Sonny grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back.

"Ask me _what_??" Sonny was prepared for the worst.

"Spinelli wanted to ask you for some advice." Jason got a kick out of the way his two best friends reacted to each other, and even though he struggled not to laugh, his demeanor showed no change.

"No I didn't Mr. Corinthos, Sir. I'm fine."

"Why are you afraid of me Spinelli?"

"Um, because you don't like me?" Spinelli winced and prayed that his death would be relatively painless.

Sonny let go of his collar and walked over to the bar, pouring himself a glass of water. "Who said I don't like you?" Sonny grinned to himself – he enjoyed toying with the kid.

Spinelli sputtered. "Well – uh – you have, on several occasions – I'm not blaming you of course - but you - threatened to - kill me - and then there was that time that you said you were going to bend my fingers back so far that I was going to have to type on the ceiling."

"That's because you hugged me." Sonny said matter-of-factly.

"Huh - point taken, sir."

"Look, you did a good job with the Diego Alcazar thing and Kate says you are working hard for her, setting up her computer system. I appreciate that. Jason trusts you. So, what do you need advice on?" Sonny pulled the guest chair out and jabbed his finger at it, indicating that Spinelli should sit back down.

Spinelli slid around the chair, trying to stay as far away from Sonny as possible and sank nervously into the chair. He stared at the ceiling and mumbled: "um, I - have a date tonight and I needed to know, like, what to do, and where to go and how to uh, sort of, seduce - a woman." His face turned beet red as he finished wishing for the floor to open up and swallow him.

"Oh! Well buddy, in that case you came to the right person." Relieved that it had nothing to do with the Zaccharas or business and slightly flattered that the kid was asking his advice, though he had been forced into it. Sonny took the chair that Jason had vacated for him. "You need to know about women, eh? Well they are a complete mystery but I can tell you a couple things. First, tell them how beautiful they are, take them somewhere nice, open the door for them; pull out their chair. Listen to them, don't talk a lot. Be charming."

"Charming? But, sir, that's what I don't know – how do I – be charming?"

"Well, she agreed to this date, right? That's half the battle. She sees something in you – I can't imagine what, but I guess she does - so, just be yourself." Then Sonny realized who he was talking to. "But not too much."

"Ok. But where should I take her? Jakes?" he had been to the Metro Court before but was afraid of running into the Valkyrie with Maxie in tow.

"Jakes? No – that's not romantic enough for your first date." He snapped his fingers. "I know where you should go." Sonny picked up his phone and dialed. "Dominic? Yeah – this is Sonny Corinthos….Good, good….Carly and the boys are good….Yeah – I need a favor - I have an associate that is looking to take out a special lady. Do you have a table available for tonight? Yeah? Look, this guy is important in my organization, I need you to take care of him, you know what I mean? Ok…eight o'clock? Perfect - Mr. Spinelli - Thanks Dom."

Spinelli sat in shocked silence. Had Mr. Corinthos, Sir just called in a favor for him? Had he called him an important person in his organization? Had the earth reversed polarity and the universe as he knew it become a distorted version of itself?

"You have reservations at the No Name for eight o'clock tonight."

"um – uh, _thank you_ Mr. Corinthos, Sir! I don't know what to –"

"What are you gonna wear?"

"Wear?" Spinelli looked down at his orange tee-shirt and jeans. What was he gonna wear? He had no idea.

"Yeah – you can't wear what you normally do. Do you have a suit?"

"Uh - yes."

"Really?" Sonny was surprised.

"I have one from the wedding of the no longer united Maternal One and Officer Lucky Spencer and one I bought for the unfortunate series of funerals this past winter." He glanced at Jason at the mention of his sister Emily's funeral but Jason had looked away.

"Oh, yeah, well. Wear the dark one and don't wear a black tie, you'll look like the waiters. Do you have a different color one?"

"No, sir."

"Go buy one. A good one. Nothing too weird. And don't wear a hat. Comb your hair – did you finally get it cut by the way?" Sonny was really getting in the spirit. In fact, he had inspired himself to do something romantic for Kate when she returned. "And bring her flowers. No. Wait – one single, red rose. Yeah – ladies like that kind of thing."

"O - K." Spinelli's head was spinning at the way the mob boss was behaving towards him. "Um, anything else?"

"Yeah – who is this girl?"

"Maxie Jones." Spinelli still couldn't believe it himself.

"Maxie Jones??" Sonny shook his head, the kid was in big trouble. "Well – " Sonny chuckled "Good luck, kid."

**What do you think? Review! Should I try to write the date? **


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